Conflict is a part of life. It is something we have in common; we’ve all experienced it. And we have all developed individual patterns of response to conflict. Some of those patterns are productive and lead to increased authenticity in relationships. Some of those patterns are destructive and can lead to divisiveness.
Congregations, like all organizations, develop patterns for handling conflict as well. Those patterns can deepen respect and love for those with different views or they can create an environment from which a disturbing amount of conflict emanates. When the deeply conflicted environment is allowed to go unchecked over time, it has the power to distort facts, destroy relationships, divide communities, and deviate our course from our mission and vision. It can keep congregations from becoming what they are called to be in Christ.
The good news is that congregations can learn to manage conflict more effectively. But getting there requires the first step of understanding WHY the congregation finds itself in conflict, dealing with the current reality (however harsh or hard to examine), learning new skills for getting to better solutions, and gaining genuine closure. All of this must happen through an intentional process of seeking to understand, seeking forgiveness, and seeking restoration.

This requires a steady non-anxious look in the mirror. It begins with organizational intelligence which allows the congregational leadership, in a systematic way, to look at the health of the church as an organization. This is accomplished through soliciting input, using the Congregation Assessment Tool (CAT), from every voice in the body-none louder than another, none more influential than another. And it requires an examination and understanding of the culture of the church. All too often, it is the organizational culture that is at the root of conflict.
Through its work with close to 3,000 congregations across the country, Holy Cow! Consulting has a clear understanding of both the dead ends where congregations too often find themselves and best practices for congregations that can lead to vitality. For a congregation in deep conflict, most often, nothing in the church is going to improve until that conflict is identified, mediated, and reconciled. The conflicted congregation needs all of these steps in order to escape the cycle of poorly managed conflict that frequently depresses the whole system and leads to loss of morale, clarity of purpose and membership.
We can help and want to work with you. If your Congregation Assessment Tool (CAT) results indicate growing or significant conflict, we have the skills and processes to help move you to the other side through a customized but intentional process of education, practice, and reconciliation.
These are not simply the shadows of individuals but entire communities. Churches will not grow and flourish as long as these are unexplored and untouched by the light of God’s grace.
know it is there. The real question is “how do you manage the conflict you have?” Or put another way, is this congregation a place where people can say “I was wrong and I am sorry” and receive an open and loving response in return. High levels of conflict that remain unmanaged or unhealed in congregations can be painful for everyone. They often result in a loss of missional focus, a loss of membership, burnt-out leadership, a loss of the sense of family, and a deterioration in our spiritual life together as a congregation.




Inspiring and engaging Worship.
ardless of where the congregation is, whether a clergy-focused or a clergy-critical system, there are important roles and conversations that the Middle Judicatory can be a part of – both in the short and long term. Those early conversations on the part of middle judicatories can avoid painful, costly interventions down the road. These conversations and efforts can also aid clergy who may feel the weight of the congregation on their shoulders – before that weight becomes too much to bear alone.
One of the points of conversation in the broader faith community is my definition of a vital (what I call “transformational”) congregation. Most definitions of a vital congregation follow what I would call a conceptual-behavioral approach. A conceptual-behavioral approach establishes a set of externally developed metrics that focus on customs, beliefs, and values against which the congregation is evaluated. For example, some groups would define a vital congregation as one which meets in a worshiping space that is free of symbols, holds an evangelical set of beliefs, and values individual